Your baby is turning one. The speed in which this first year has gone past astonishes you. So wrapped you have been in all things necessary to survive each day, You worry You missed, took for granted the little baby he was. You struggle to remember him as new and that upsets you. This first birthday is SO significant to you.
He has changed daily in his first year and you didn’t drink it all in. He had changed before You noticed. In the blink of an eye- he’s one. Determined to get going, to be older than his days, to be like his brother has made this year speed past. He’s one.
You’d like to go back, just for a moment to that tiny baby handed to you. Look at him. Smell him. Yes smell him.
First birthdays are bitter sweet for parents. They signify the end of an era. It’s a marker point of your baby growing up. It’s a smack in the face. It’s a a big fat ONE whole year. Your baby is now a year, not “months” old. Can you say he’s 52 weeks without sounding like a twat? It’s an achievement. It sometimes signifies back to work. It sometimes signifies the end of a breast feeding journey. It sometimes signifies, ‘let’s have another one hahahaha”. It signifies, “Can you believe he’s one?”
It’s a milestone. A huge one. Probably the biggest. It is an anniversary of the day your life changed forever. It’s a date in the calendar that will never just be a date again. It’s the first time you’ve written in your diary that Birthday. Not that you need to write it in, that date is etched forever. It’s a date that will never go unmarked again.
It means new clothes in the shops- a whole new section in some stores. It means shoes. It means saying “my one year old” when talking about him. It means cake. It means new food, proper food. 12months+ food. It means cows milk. It means more vaccinations- this time they wriggle.
It’s a day to be celebrated. The first of all birthdays. Celebrating the achievements of the parents. The success, that despite the hardships, here you are, one year on. It’s a day to reflect. It’s a day to retell that birth story, look at the clock. It’s a day for tears. Its a day to look back at the photos and wonder at the immense change. It’s a day to stand still for a moment and look at the wondrous human being that’s growing up right before your very eyes. It’s a day to watch him sleeping and wonder how on earth you got here. It’s a day to wander round in a daze saying “He’s one and I can’t bloody believe it.”
This marker in your parent journey, sometimes makes you sad. The significance of being one is huge. One whole year, the best, hardest, scariest, weirdest, most filled with love year of your life. The things you’ve done in this past year amaze you. Literally- you’ve done some fucked up stuff with poo.
As quick as this year has gone, you also wonder how it’s only been a year. How have you only known him one year. How has he only been here just one year. You can’t remember life before him or without him in it.
The significance of being one. It’s huge.