Mummy & Daddy
Everyone tells you that your relationship will change when you have babies. You hear tales of fights after sleepless nights, resentment that your husband gets to go to work with adults and drink hot coffee and never ever having any fun together ever again- until maybe you are retired.
Well, in my case this is NOT the case. Our babies HAVE brought us closer together. Our weekends once filled with a social life that mainly revolved around wine, are now a family-fun fuelled few days. We go places and do things that we never did because the call of the bar was louder than that of the local park. And the park is really fun you know. I love a roundabout and that dizzy feeling. We go to the zoo, museums, bowling, lunch, soft play, rugby tots, feed the ducks, little kickers, see our families. What don’t we do at the weekends? Seeing Him whizz down the big blue slide with our two year old makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside- way more than wine does when it goes down.
Don’t get me wrong, there is still a bit of wine involved. We haven’t let the babies totally change us and sometimes, well, you kind of need it. Just to get through the chaos of a simple task like getting in the car. (Don’t drink and drive!) Our days start at 7 instead of 11 when the hangover had subsided. And as a result Monday doesn’t come round nearly as quick. Our relationship is more fun, cultured and a lot more loving, simply because there is a tonne more love floating around.
We are a team. Barely having to speak to each other to know what we need. We are on each other’s side, supportive, when being responsible for two tiny humans is overwhelming. We are Mummy and Daddy- fearless, all knowing, got our shit together adults. When he’s at work I often send ‘the text’. ‘The text’ usually goes something like this- ‘X has been crying for an hour straight and E has pulled out the contents of the fridge. Can’t cope. (Insert emoji demonstrating how stressed I am and do 15 of them for emphasis)’ And I know he can’t actually do anything but just sending the text and sharing with the one who knows better than anyone what it’s like- is enough. The reply is usually all I need to stop me from running out the front door. “Shit isn’t it? I’ll be home soon. Love you.” And he walks through the door, in his tights and cape and scoops up the nearest one to him. In that moment I love him more than ever.
I send him pictures and updates throughout the day of what these terrors are up to so he feels involved. “X just giggled!!” “E did a wee on the potty” His enthusiasm for those pictures and texts is immense. “Awwww look at them. Miss you all”. Before children we could go a whole day at work without talking. Imagine if he sent me pictures of his day- spreadsheets and the like. Yawn.
Our babies just gave us more. We are closer, we talk more, we do more. I love him more. And we also make more time for us than we did before. We value our alone time, make the most of it. Book things in. Plan. Instead of just letting the weekends roll around and then go again in the blink of an eye. I honestly don’t know how people raise children on their own. Huge respect for single parents- I would seriously struggle without his support. We are not having a third though because then we will be outnumbered by the buggers.
So cheers to the partners who we are lucky to have. The ones who go to work and still come home and bath and put the kids to bed. The ones who get up in the night with us, instead of us and babysit so we can have girls nights out- doing the night shift when we’ve passed out after. The great role models, the modern men, bum changers, teachers, feeders, bread winners, therapists, chauffeurs, motivators and negotiators. We bloody adore you and can do anything as long as you do it with us.